Monday, April 28, 2008
The female ministry of silly walks
It's been a while since I did any sort of a character study of idiosyncracies, but here's one that I don't know if anyone has recorded before. And it's exclusive to the female gender:
Females do silly walks.
It's true. You've probably never noticed it. It doesn't happen too often, but picture this. You are walking toward a female, and there aren't too many people around. You realise you know her, and she recognises you. She smiles and right then: she does a silly walk. And there it is. Whether it is an icebreaker or a subconscious method of drawing your attention, the silly walker won't know the reason. She'll just do it.
It's not the same for guys. They'll give a big grin, make some expansive gesture, act like a show pony or point and shoot with their fingers. All well documented and accepted. Yet the female equivalent is to do an unassuming silly walk. It generally involves slowing the steps down and exaggerating movement such as the swing of the arms or the drop of the shoulders.
Case study one:
A lecture, ca 2003. A girl walks into a lecture and sees a group of her friends coming in from the other side of the lecture hall. She walks over to them (in a silly fashion) as they approach her.
Case study two:
The movies, ca 2004. I am sitting in the movie foyer with Dom when my girlfriend at the time walks in the door. She sees me, walks over, and as I look up she executes a particularly silly walk. With a silly expression on her face. (She does a silly walk and now she's my ex. Go figure. Muhaha.)
Case study three:
I am returning to the office from a settlement when I notice a (male) legal executive from another law office walking toward me from some distance away. There is a female walking in front of me. I barely notice her to begin with, but then she embarks on a ridiculously silly walk toward the legal exec, hunching over to one side and swinging one arm. The exec is deaf, and has an unusual gait, so I wonder if she is making fun of his disability! But no, she is a friend of his, and knows sign language. They have a fingersation as I walk past.
Case study three:
The office, today. This is what jogged my memory. I walk down the hallway and pass Chanel. Normally I'm in a huge hurry, but I walked past and smiled. So did she... And she topped it all off with... You guessed it.
If you've ever noticed this type of behaviour, then can you disprove the above? The theory is flawless so far...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sexy new hardware...
Less than 12 hours after shedding a few tears upon burying "my Ding-A-Ling", I sold out to a hot new model. She's slim, smooth and sexy. And here's how she sees me...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
After some prompting...
Something finally happened in my life! No, I'm not that sad; I just found a moment in which to write something down - assisted by those who know who they are (and I do actually thank you for that.) Also thanks to Liz for the inspiration - she hits NZ soil and she's a blogging machine! So Dom and I took a trip with Liz and Sarah. I took a random Tuesday off (while the office went to pot, I later learned) and took a trip down to the Catlins. So the story kinda goes:
1. We arrived in the wetlands with the girls demanding bathroom breaks every second second of the way. The name 'the wetlands' was just asking for trouble anyway.
2. Laughter turned to fear as the girls found out the guys were so tired of their demands they were prepared to kill to restore the silence...
3. We reached the Catlins and were welcomed by a seductive tree dryad who soon realised she was kinda stuck.
4. The Cathedral Caves were not as quite as accessible as I had been led to believe. Stupid indecipherable tide diagram in the ODT. It didn't stop a half-assed attempt by Dom, though!
5. At the conclusion, festivity was had by all... Except for me?
