Procrastination Opportunist

Of all the interesting food experiences, chunks of pineapple with tomato in between was easily the grossest.


I like Chinese. It's as true now as it was then; never mind the shocked bystanders.

Haggling doesn't leave a whole lot of room for flirting, but it can still be achieved.

The most intense concentration the Beijing Zoo gets is people trying to work out if the pandas are actually alive. The rest concentrate on their iceblocks.

When a group visits the island at the Summer Palace, at least one group member returns with the secret squirrel demeanour of having embraced the universe.

The losers aren't necessarily the ones who stick with peach flavour and don't try new things - they may be the ones who eat mung bean ice blocks.


It's easy to get caught up in the moment and suddenly find you've been swept away in the hype.

The Great Wall is covered in the Chinese Fencing Act 1521.

It may be as small as an orange, or as big as a standard 600ml Chinese stubbie, but eating and drinking photos NEVER work.

The old rule "Maintain your serial killer expression and don't talk on the Subway" is universal.

Standing outside the Temple of Heaven and offering to show heaven to anyone who walks past doesn't work well; perhaps something is lost in translation.


The best photos always lack a vital party member.

Asians like having their photos taken with even the most insignificant of Europeans. Here they pose with a few of the famous ones.

Embracing nothingness is no longer respected during lunch.

If you are the one posing directly under a picture of Mao - you end up looking exactly like him.

An actual slummy slum in Beijing is hard to find.