Procrastination Opportunist

I touched down in the land of the Yo-yo Ma blues in the middle of the pouring rain. The flight was long and in it I realised that more sleep would have been a good idea, and that Bridge to Terabithia should have been more aptly named "Brushj to Terabithia." Ushj ushj ushj. The weather was muggy, kinda yucky, and my shoes decided to invite most of the water right in. Of course then it was a case of my shoes and socks going compress compress compress compress compress compress until I noticed it no longer. We sat in the traffic for over an hour at one point, and got a pretty darn good (and looong) look at Tianamen Square and the front of the Forbidden City (with Mao's handsome mug plastered above the door). I could probably draw the place from memory now!

Finally we got to the hotel, then straight out to the markets and some eating place with swings to aid digestion. It turns out herbal jelly isn't a lovely dessert, and eel is pretty good. Haggling at the markets was a totally new thing to me, but Graham was there to halve the offered price, halve it again, halve it once more, then offer one tenth of the result. Amazingly, the vendors were not insulted by the offers! It sounds all good, but it didn't take long to feel overwhelmed.

The Forbidden City was next on the list, with the best fun being going where we weren't supposed to. Guards actually hiss at you when you do something wrong. My mission was to imitate Jared Leto from 30 Seconds to Mars in the video clip "From Yesterday." Not the most convincing result, but hey, the setting wasn't quite exact.

Biking in Beijing! Awesome! Orderly chaos! (If that...) It really helps having no hills. And a leader who knows where he's going... Or at least guesses well.

Dom! I said I'd meet you in Tianamen square at 2pm! What happened??

The Great Wall was the plan for the second full day. It forms the northern part of the city, but it still takes three hours to get there. When you're there you aquire your own stalkers! They pretend it doesn't cost you anything to have them walking with you, but at the end of the walk they spring you with 'guide fees.' You walk, they walk, you stop, they stop, you hint at them politely to get lost and they 'don't understand.' These people aren't underprivileged! They harass people successfully for a living! So we had to run away. Vanessa did a great job but her old lady ran after her, and even figured out her tricky plan when she dodged around the pillars in guard tower five! Fortunately the ticket collecters pared down the stalkers and we made it to the almost end mostly unharmed. Unfortunately some of us decided that wasn't the end and we walked two more towers straight up. Ushj! I was rather happy to find out we had gone too far and had to turn back. Great beer at the end! Oh, and a decent achievement as well.

Shopping on the third day was also rather wet, and I got a little carried away. One Rolex, a pair of Diesel shoes, a Nike jacket, X-Files seasons 4,5 and 6, Seasons 1-10 of Friends and Season 6 of Scrubs later I decided I was running low on money. The bonus was the stuff was all 100% genuine :) The Temple of Heaven in the rain was pretty cool, and it was good to be mindful of the fact that there would be double the people if it wasn't raining. Even more fun to stand in the middle of the stone of resonance and sing "I like Chinese." And then get shot.

Last day already? Ushj! We made up for it by going to the Zoo, then the Summer Palace. Saw more animals at the Summer Palace. Not really, but every man and his dog decided to do exactly what we were doing that day. That didn't stop me finding plenty of time for embracing the universe at the Hall of Embracing the Universe, which was covered in scaffolding which looked really authentic, Chinese and appropriate. We went round the lake anticlockwise (clever, eh?) and under the 750m mural. They say that it is so beautiful that no couple can walk under it and come out the other side unengaged. Luckily I was walking with Mike, so I emerged from the other side engaged to him. Glad I wasn't walking with Mum, that would have been too weird! Then I figured Sheryl might get mad if she found out I was engaged to her husband, so I quietly broke it off. It turned out anyway that Mike was unaware of our whole thing. OK, that joke ends there!

That same night we made it back late, but just in time to hit the town and eat scorpions on a stick! You won't believe it, but they tasted great! Like chicken, of course.

We were all rather sad to say goodbye, but we did get a glimpse of Singapore on the way back, with a two and a half hour trip through the city.

Made a rather good week, really. Back to the coal face. Right now it's snowing outside, and I've just been informed the water in the shower has gone cold. Life is harsh, eh?