Procrastination Opportunist

Remember those rhyming couplets some time back? This one just came to me

All other sports can stick it
'Cause my favourite's cricket.

But not wanting to sell myself short or bore too many people (75% of my audience asleep is OK) I chose something more topical, but put a spin on the end. Perhaps not totally original, since it's basic mob mentality, but here goes. DISCLAIMER: This work does not necessarily reflect the views of the author.

Ambulance Chasers

Empty your wallets, your pockets, your purse
Scowl, howl, scream and curse
“Dentists’ fees don’t get much worse
Than those of smarmy lawyers!”

They live in streets of cobbled gold
While they exert their stranglehold
Until my very last chattel’s sold
Who seeks to harm me? Lawyers!

They charge me prices they cannot explain
Their bottomless pockets not unlike a drain
My existence characterised by the bane
Which always alarms me - Lawyers.

But when I’m arrested, crucified by the board?
Who cite me, smite me then indict me for fraud?
When Judge Damocles draws and sharpens his sword?
My saviour? An army of lawyers!