Procrastination Opportunist

You know those weird things everything does? I think one of the most obvious ones that no-one seems really to mention is disclaimers. The idea behind these is to detract from certain behaviour or actions of the person making the self-disclaimer. Here's an example: a former classmate of mine wears long johns to school. He knows there's no way he's not gonna get hassled so he brings it up in the locker room before everyone else does - "Hey guys it was really cold this morning... It was so cold this morning that I wore my long johns!" He says this right before disrobing and showing off the big long tightey whiteys. The guys who would normally do the hassling simply roll their eyes, saying "too much information" or suchlike.

You know what I mean? That was a real story, courtesy of Hayden Luke. But it's more widespread than just those with the simple fear of scorn from peers. A disclaimer doesn't generally need to be made if someone can "pull it off" however, but recidivist misbehaviourists need to do so. Another example is my little brother. He would be eating the last banana (after eating almost the whole bunch himself) and the first thing he'd say to anyone would be "Man, these bananas are really big" in an effort to draw the attention away from the fact he was eating the last banana and shouldn't be.

This came to my attention today because Dom gave me the most plain example a couple of months ago. He came back from the bathroom, clearly with something to say and begins "Ha ha you know how sometimes you pee on the seat a little bit? (no, I didn't know this) Well, this time it wasn't just a little bit, it was ALL OVER!" This was the most blatant evidence of the existence of disclaimers. Dom's desire to disclaim from his behaviour far outweighed his desire to combat the brunt of my wrath once I visited the bathroom and found out - knowing he was the only suspect.

Bet you know what I'm talking about now. Journals on human behaviour could dedicate volumes to this stuff.