Procrastination Opportunist

I'm going in to work at Woolworths tomorrow for the third last time. I've had a great run there, but five and a half years down the track, the sun is setting on my time (positively dripping with cheese). My boss Andy, one of the funniest guys I know, has thrown in the towel and is leaving for Australia on the 18th of March. So through absolute coincidence, my leaving surprisingly fell on that day too. We've had some of the most entertaining Saturday mornings in the butchery listening to the most rubbish music, and plan to spearhead an expose regarding our recent discovery that Sixties and Seventies music was chiefly penned by paedophiles. You don't believe me? I have volumes of music to prove you wrong, not only by Gary Glitter... Songs like 'Young Girl', 'You're Sixteen', 'Hey Little Girl', 'Frozen Orange Juice', 'Mrs Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter', 'Are You Old Enough', 'Girl You'll Be a Woman Soon' and last but not least 'Thank Heaven For Little Girls.'

I say thank heaven for jails and discerning folks such as Andy and I who spot such people trying to pass themselves off as the very picture of innocence because 'no-one would even consider such behaviour' back then... Hmmm. So that's my stance on that.

Next week we address exhibitionism in old music. For background research, listen to the song 'Splish Splash.' Laying down a completely objective standard, he must have had some idea that there was a party going on before he strolled out naked...